“I look to the sky and see them. Tall and straight. Bare and exposed. Nothing hidden.”
The weather here in Middle Tennessee had been cold and grey for what seemed like weeks.
I myself felt cold and grey. Frustrated by self-induced pressures. So tensed up by my own lofty expectations. All the while wondering why my inspiration and motivation had abandoned me.
*Note to self: This, my dear, is your typical “New Year’s Resolution Let Down Week”.
**My Self Talk: “Three weeks in and I’ve missed the mark more than once. I haven’t obtained perfection. I allowed people, food and freaking Marlboro Reds get to me. Again! When am I gonna get this right??? You’re so…..undisciplined, weak, lazy, worthless etc etc”
THEN YESTERDAY THE SUN CAME OUT! Now I was still in the fog, quite oblivious to what was actually occurring within me. I simply found myself joyfully smiling as I began my day. My workout had more enthusiasm. I snapped pictures on my way home. I didn’t mind going into work at 5 PM at all; for it availed me 4 hours out in my beloved woods. I continued clearing trails. I spoke to the trees and our creek. Sharing my appreciation and gratitude that they resided on our own piece of paradise. I got to visit with my Roger before my shift. I was full of energy at closing time and came home still on a blissful high. I slept 7 straight hours, first time in weeks. And lo and behold; I woke up with anticipation of another great day. Stepping out on the back porch, I look to the sky and see them. Tall and straight. Bare and exposed. Nothing hidden. “Wow!” I thought. “Just like me. I’ve been feeling so stripped down to bare bones. Financial burdens mounting, the goals towards my dream daunting.” I just stood there unaware of passing time. Breathing in every angle of the yard. Suddenly my focus shifted towards the sky. That crisp blue backdrop made those naked trees speak to me. “See our strong branches? We’ve weathered countless storms. Proud we are of our inner tenacity and fortitude. Soon another season of newness will be upon us. Again we will dance and charm you with our various green finery. But for now, we are not ashamed of our creative process. Our seasons will come and go. Change is life. Relax. Breathe in. Breathe out. Embrace each change as you often come out and embrace us.”
The lessons resound around me each day. Once again Mother Nature has beautifully reminded me I simply must BE to truly experience freedom. Worry and stress less. Force NOTHING. Keep my intentions always in mind. Choose wisely. Take steps each day. Applaud myself often. See the best in every challenge and person. And remember “it’s not the destination, but the joy in the journey”. (if anyone knows this actual quote/author let me know).
“Warmth, light and power were once again revealed in the sky”.