Tumultuous thoughts rumbling in my head.
Physical body doing a frenzied hormonal dance.
Conversation, the little we have is strained and awkward.
I’m sending out weird vibes, I know, but I’m careless of their consequence.
I’m inwardly struggling to receive and accept what is occurring in my world, my spirit, my own body. Deal with your own shit dude!
I step outside to engage in the ridiculousness of smoking a cigarette.
I’m immediately welcomed by the birds, happily calling out in the mist. The chickens draw my attention next. All 14 hens have seen me and are squawking at the open end of the coop. I smile. Then my eyes are drawn to the plant on the table freshly showered with Summer rain. She’s perky and upright and I’m enamored by how much she’s grown since I transplanted her this Spring. Then the crickets chime in, even driving out the sound of the unit which just turned on. A cardinal flies out of the woods and flashes his red beauty. I breathe….content to be one with the earth again.
I am. I love. I am loved. Yes I am having a moment. Yet all is still well.
And so it is and so I let it be.
Grateful for my backyard sanctuary.